I'll Love You To Infinity

God, You never fail to open new doors.

You have a reason in everything You bring and You protect us from the doors that You intentionally close. Your plans are perfect. I’m going to trust in You with the unknown, foggy future. I don’t live or depend on my own abilities anymore. My understand is flawed, my heart is deceitful, and my strength fades away. But God You are always there, standing in Your glory. Please touch my life. Use it and anoint it for Your glory Lord. I will not be afraid, because my life is in Your hands. And I want to thank You, because You’ve been walking me through day by day. Because of You, I find worth and purpose in my life. It’s to honor You and to show a broken world, that true love comes from You. I’m still not sure what You will unfold for me, but I know it’s going to big. ♥

Jeremiah 29:11 “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

Can you please pray for my family?

It hurts to see my parents go crazy. It hurts when no one else seems to have sane in the family. It hurts to see both my parents doubt in the faith. At first, it was my dad with the unstable faith. Now, I don’t know why my mom broke down. I want to say something, but then they quickly cut me off. My mom simply says that I’m too young to understand anything. Then I just recall the verse of 1 Timothy 4:12. My dad tells me, what solutions do I have? It hurts me deep inside, to see my family suddenly break like this. There are talks about divorce. That’s been going on for years, but suddenly now it seems to be more of a threat. Shame! I hear talks of re-marriage. I hear arguments over my college money. It hurts to hear blames on God and foolish talk of suicide. When did it go this far? It hurts that my parents don’t put past mistakes behind them. It hurts to see all the bitterness. It hurts to see my future be a fog. But most of all, it hurts that two people that I love dearly are straying far from God.

I’m sick of all this negativity that the enemy is placing in my family. I have no control, but I know there is control in the hands of my God. I’m just thankful that God’s been speaking to me and giving me comfort through this all. I don’t have all the answers in my hands, but I know that Yahweh is the answer to everything. I cry and pray that my parents would just turn to Him. I pray that the eyes of my parents would be open and that all the blindness will be gone! I pray that whatever bitterness in their hearts can be removed. I pray for healing and restoration in a broken marriage. I pray that love would come in their hearts again.

Please, if you read this tonight, can you please pray for family? Thank you. <3

4 hours of sleep.

So….last night had some unexpected turn of events. Same for this morning. I did not have dinner. Yerp. Everything’s running smoothly. Not. I think I’ll crash here and sleep now. And then do homework later. Hearing all this bad news just crushes my heart and spirit. So things are completely uncertain as they are now. But I trust that my God will get us through this. I won’t deny that I naturally feel scared. But I refuse to let my fears overwhelm and overpower me. I know my God is bigger than all the troubles. Whether the troubles are big or small, my God will crush them. And overlooking the situation, I see that these troubles and trials only bring me closer to God. I am even more thankful for that. Sometimes, I don’t know what to pray for when it comes to troubles. I simply lay the burdens at my Father’s feet. Then all I can bring myself to say is, “Lord, let Your will be done on earth as it is done in heaven.”

This is the simple prayer that Jesus Christ teaches to His disciples.

Matthew 6:9-13 “This, then, is how you should pray: ‘Our Father in heaven hallowed be Your name, our kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.’”

Hallelujah God…all glory goes to You. Forever and ever. I know the troubles on this earth are not forever. Your will is only the best. Your will is even better than my own will. Your plans are even more glorious than the plans I’ve made in my life. It’s not about the sake of my convenience, but that Your work and will is done. This is what it means to deny myself, pick up my cross, just to follow You. You gave me real life. Now my whole lifetime is just for You. <3

Lord, I’m hurting so much right now.

There are times in life, where I grow so scared, sad, angry, and uncertain. I don’t always have the answers in the palm of my hands. I do stupid things and I don’t always make the wisest decisions. Sometimes, I fall and I let You down. But God, I want to make sure of one thing. It’s that I never let go of You. Lord, the one thing that brings me strength is the fact that You’re always holding me tight. You never let go. Jesus, You give me undying hope. Your love makes me cry. I cry, because I know I don’t deserve it. But here You are, giving Your mercy. I just want to have sincere relationship with You. I don’t want to go astray into the world and forget You. I don’t want to call you, “Lord, Lord,” and not have You to recognize me on judgement day. Lord, hear my cry. Hold me in Your arms. Like a little frightened child, I need You to hold me like a caring Father. God, there are times when I’m just so helpless. But I’m learning for once, to thank You for these trials. Because You put me in situations where I have no choice but to run to You, You draw me near to You. That is way more than enough. Dear God, I love You so much. Thank You. Thank You for all the comfort You give me. Your glory will last forever. Let Your will be done.

Another storm comes, with lightning and thunder.

Lord, Your power is an infinite wonder.

I tackle with the waves that crash over me.

I barely have strength, as I drift the the sea.

I know everyday has a spiritual war.

God, may I not forget what I’m living for.

Father, please pull me to Your embrace.

I desperately need Your comfort and grace.

May all my fears subside and fade.

Because of Your love, I shouldn’t be afraid.

God, I know You take good care of me.

Just as you feed all the birds in the tree.

Lord, may my foundation only stand on Your rock.

With faith in prayer, I’ll ask, search, and knock.

God, may You always be number one in my heart.

Because in my small life, You play a big part.

Instead of condemnation, you redeemed my very spirit.

May the ears that haven’t heard the gospel, clearly hear it.

With all the little words, I have to say.

I speak of the concerns I have for today.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen.

Crying to out God, brings the best feeling in the world.

Did you ever feel like you are on the edge sometimes? Like the problems of this life, just seem to pound on your shoulders? Or in the midst of distress, you just couldn’t take the pressure anymore? Tonight, I was greatly troubled. My stomach felt sick. I laid in bed and fell asleep for a few hours. And when I got up, I still didn’t feel so good. I just felt so sad and down. It was a feeling that I despise. I thought I was practically depressed. In my frustration, I didn’t know what to do. I never forgot my purpose in life, but I guess sometimes, I just don’t see the full picture. I felt like the things I do daily were useless and a waste of time. I just went on my laptop and decided to put my itunes on shuffle. And at that very moment, an old familiar song started playing. It was “Me and Jesus” by Stellar Kart. It wasn’t even a minute that the song started playing, and I broke into tears. The words sort of just spoke to my heart. “Someone loves you even when you don’t think so. Don’t you know? You got me and Jesus by your side, through the fight, you will never be alone on your own. You got me and Jesus.” Something told me to grab my Bible. So I did. And my eyes ran across a verse…that made me cry hysterically.

John 5:24-25 “What I’m about to tell you is true. Anyone who hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He will not be found guilty. He has crossed over from death to life. What I’m about to tell you is true. A time is coming for me to give life. In fact, it has already begun. The dead will hear the voice of the Son of God. Those who hear it will live.”

I just sat here and cried like crazy. This wasn’t the first time, that I experienced this. I know God has touched my heart before to cry. I can honestly say that it’s the best feeling in the world. Nothing else in the universe can ever make me feel this way. That’s because this is God’s love. From time to time, I may tend to slip and fall, but God is always there to bring me back on my feet. I’m weak. I’m blind sometimes. But God makes me strong and God helps me to see through His eyes. I can be a wreck and a mess sometimes. Sometimes I question, who would ever want to put up with a burden like me? But then I realize that that’s just pessimistic talk. And those are just words that the enemy would like to use to defeat me. I shouldn’t let the troubles overwhelm me. Lately, the silliest things have made me so sad. And the midterms in school worry me a lot. But Jesus Christ specifically said, “So don’t worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34) I just need to trust in God. And I need to remember that His love is so much more than enough for me. I cried so much when I read that verse. Because I was reminded, that Jesus put up through so much, to go in this world, die on that cross, rise to life, and save me. And it’s not just me. It’s also for everyone else who’s willing to believe in Him. Tonight, I’m reminded by how much God loves us and cares for us. Our God is truly a God who comforts and loves us. Let’s never forget that. Our problems may appear big. But our God is always bigger than our problems.

I think I know why I’ve been feeling weak lately.

I haven’t been spending enough time with the Bible. *sigh* Now it makes sense. I need the word of God. I need God to speak to me. For a long time now, I’ve been babbling here and there. All my mere words are useless. All I need now, is the voice of my King. God, speak to me. You’re the only voice I need to hear tonight. <3 It’s time I open up my Bible.

God, I am desperate for You.

For so long, I’ve been astray with my thoughts and feelings. I thought I was doing right. But now I realize, in the long run I somehow drifted apart from You. I never intended to push You away. But because I was so preoccupied by my own little world, I forgot the purpose in everything. I forgot that You were standing right there beside me. I forgot how much You love me. I forgot Your presence and forgot that You were standing there with open arms. God, I forgot that You just want to get closer to Your people. You just want to have an intimate relationship with us. Intimate…meaning we become one in spirit. God, I’m so sorry I take You for granted. Take me back. All of me. I just want to serve You wholeheartedly and undivided. Suddenly, I’m inspired by You. I remember what my whole life’s purpose is about. I just want to live for You. And I want to make sure that everything I do, honors You. That every aspect revolves around You. God, You are the only reason why I’m alive. You deserve so much more. Please, here my cry. Let my life be an offering. I know I am only alive through Jesus Christ. I want to be closer to You more than ever before. God, You are more than enough. You are all that I need.

John 4:14 “But anyone who drinks the water I give him will never be thirsty. In fact, the water I give him will become a spring of water in him. It will flow up into eternal life.”

John 6:35 “Then Jesus said, ‘I am the bread of life. No one who comes to me will ever go hungry. And no one who believes in me will ever be thirsty.’”

Romans 8:10 “In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.”

1 Corinthians 6:17 “But anyone who is joined to the Lord becomes one with Him in spirit.”

Ephesians 5:13-14 “But everything the light shines on can be seen. Light makes everything clear. That is why it is said, ‘Wake up, sleeper. Rise from the dead. Then Christ will shine on you.’”